Run Brigitte Run

first colonic

2011-07-20T10:48:00.001-04:00

Well, I did it, I took my courage in both hands and I went for my first colonic. I came out alive. :) I have to say that it is not a very pleasant experience but I have learn alot from it.

One main thing is I absolutely need to take my time and chew my food longer. Since I had half of my saliva gland removed a long time ago and I have so much problems with my tongue ( 4 operations to remove a cyst and the last one where the surgeon injured my nerve, and left half my tongue paralyzed), I have a tendency to always chew a bit and drink water to help me swallow. Well, guess what, it shows in your colon. I had undegisted food in there. That is what caused a lot of gas and so the first session was good but the next one will be better. The uncomfort comes from the gas trapped in there. I am going back next week.

On other front ( pun intended), I always talked myself in starting to run once I would reach the 225 mark. I am now at 235 but yesterday I had to run to hurry up to put my neighbor's recycling out as the truck was coming, I ran more then 1 minute and I wasn't out of breath, I wasn't in pain. All was well. That scared the hell out of me. Everytime I ran in the past, I always ended up with an injury. I am doing some soul searching. Because I really want to run, I love the feeling, I love the exhiliration, I love the accomplishment. I see people run all the time here and mostly in Ottawa and I always feel the urge to do the same. So the time is coming. I will wait for the Gagou to start school, 40 days. I will be closer to 225 and ready mentally.

I continue to experiment with raw recipes. Some are amazing, some I don't like too much. I am having a hard time getting use to the taste of sprouted sunflower or sprouted alfalfa. I guess it will be an acquired taste. But I absolutely love all the falafel version I tried, I have made amazing

orange-almond-carrot cookies. My lovey loves them to. And I can't go without my coconut-banana "yogurt".

All is well here, the motivation is amazing. My biggest test will be next week when we leave for vacation in PEI with the girls. But I am bringing my juicer. :)

Raw Foods on a Budget Book Giveaway

2011-07-08T14:05:00.002-04:00

I am always scanning the web for raw recipes and this site is very helpful because its mission is to make raw food on a budget.

I have to say that my favorite one so far is the best pate ever

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Cleansing in all kind of ways...

2011-07-08T13:54:00.000-04:00

Last week-end was my first visit to my father's house. It was a very emotional time for me but I understood it just after the week-end was over. I have decided about 4 years ago to forgive him for abandoning me. And so we are building a new relationship as I don't believe it can ever be a father/dauther relationship.

The reason it was so hard was because as we were visiting his city, he was pointing along all the spot that my brothers grew up in ( elementary school, high school, synagog, park that they played in). Now he is not trying to be mean, he was just playing tourist guide in his city and pointing out the familiar places.
I am trying not to be hurt, but there is always a natural tendency to ask : why not me? why wasn't I good enough to recieve your love? I understand, he explain to me, since one of my brother is autistic/asperger, it was just easier for him to make as tough we were not part of his life. My brother needed stability and so he tought that explaining that he had kids with another woman that he left could be very disastrous for him. Funny thing is that life caught up with him as he is now separated from that woman.
I keep praying that the time will come for me to just see my father and not feel that little pinch in my heart every time he mentions a part of his life where I wasn't there. It is very hard.
Same thing when he talks about his grand-son( my brother's kid) when he has absolutely no connection to my daughters and grand-daughters. Again, why was I not important enough? Why didn't I matter?

When we left Peterborough, on our way to Toronto, I had a meltdown in the car. Because my sweet babou was asking me if it was difficult for me to see all of those places. So when I got to the hotel and we went for supper, I had a huge supper, so huge that my stomach hurt. And when we got back home, I did the same thing. My stomach hurt it was so full. Plus it was cooked food and my stomach was having a hard time processing it. My eyes were puffy and my skin became dry again. I had trouble sleeping but it could be the father thing...
Then I was able to step back and look at what I was doing. Medicating with food.

But what it comes down to is that I forgave my father, the past is the past and nothing can change it. I will concentrate my energy on learning to know him and build something from that. Life is being very hard with him anyway, he cheated on all the woman in his life ( he is a sex addict, good thing my addiction is food, or maybe not...)his son is Asperger and his ex-wife is now suffering from Alzheimer. Horrible disease. I feel so sad for her. We went to see her as my father ask me if we could. She was very warm with me like we had a very good relationship. But in reality, I went to their house one week ( age 12), I did one trip of 2 weeks with them ( age 9) and I saw her once in my house ( age 26). She had love in her eyes for me. I understand that it is because she can remember old memories but not new one.

So all in all, it was very difficult. But I am very proud of not gaining one pound back. I am on my way down baby. Oh yeah!
For now I am on day 4 completely raw. ( I am starting the counter again because of the week-end...)

I will live in the moment, enjoying all of it.

my 15th day raw

2011-06-15T11:12:00.000-04:00

I have been raw for 15 days now. It is going very well. It was an easy shift for me since I have been vegetarian for 7 years now.
So I eat fruits in the morning, a green juice for lunch and a huge salad with lots of seeds ( flax, chia and hemp) for supper. My snacks are mostly watermelon and some raw fudge that I made from a recipe from princess I am. I did it with brazil nuts and I didn't add the hemp butter. So far I have lost 15 pounds.
I just made some amazing raw falafel and I have to hold back from eating them all. They are from the renegade health show.
It is a good thing I have a dehydrator because it is almost always in use.

This lifestyle brings so much energy it is unbelivable. It also helps me to connect back to the Universe. Gives you a new respect for food, for the time it takes to actually grow and for all the people that it takes to bring it to us. For years now, I have always made the same prayer before eating : I give thanks for the food that I have, the people that grew it and the people that brought it to me. But it had became an automatism. Now I truly take the time to say it and I really enjoy each bite I take.
I believe that the fact that I am eating so much organic food is helping me to stay on track. I know that there is a question of nutrient. It is proven that you get so many nutrient from the green that you eat that your brain is always satisfied. And I truly get that. In my case, there is also the monetary issue. Since I am investing so much in my health, I don't want to blow it all.

It is said that anger reside in your liver. Let me tell you that I am cleaning my liver for sure. Because I feel lots of anger. The first few days, I was crying alot. Releasing anger and frustration. When I go to sleep at night, I am relaxed and in peace. It feels very good.

I am off to the pool. Enjoying my last few days because the Gagou is finishing school next week, so no more laps until september. :(

day 3 JF

2011-04-01T09:43:00.000-04:00

I am on day 3. I almost blew everything away yesterday. It is unbelivable what the fact of not chewing anything does on the body.

We were watching Law and Order SVU and the captain of the police station is an alcoholic and he says: I am tempted every day, every day is a struggle and it has been 20 years! I am starting to wonder if that is the way I am suppose to be thinking to. I have to make a constant and conscious effort to not overeat. Something is really wrong in my head. That is why I am juicing right now. To try and get some clarity, to try and brake my addiction to food. I don't think I can do the 92 days program right now. I am not strong enough. But at the same time I am terrified that once I start to eat again I will go overboard. So I have spend the last 2 days planning meals and getting organised.

I have also come to the realisation that I can't go raw 100%. There are many wonderful sites on the internet and they all suggest the same thing, go in to it slowly. Better eating raw 50% then not at all.

I have the book of Brendan Brazier on the Thrive diet. And I am planning to go onto that as soon as I finish the juice. We are going on a girl's trip on April 14th, to Toronto to go visit the Tim Burton exhibit at the TIFF. We are sleeping over at the Marriott and we will also visit the Royal Ontario Museum. There is no way I can juice while we are there plus I don't want to have to explain to my daughters what I am doing. So I will break the juice fast next week and ease into the Thrive menus. There are plenty of stuff I can bring over on the trip and I will try to visit a raw restaurant. They have those in Toronto.

juicing

2011-03-30T08:36:00.000-04:00

I am starting a juice feast. My goal is 14 days but I am taking it one day at a time.
As they say: if you keep doing what you have been doing, you will get the same results. I am basically trying to start a new way of respecting my body. I know that alot of people don't agree with juice feasting. I have been reading on this for over a month now. I am following some of the idea from the juice lady and I plan to transition over to a . raw diet Since I am already a vegetarian ( have been for 8 years) it will not be that big of a change for me. As always more planning to change my habits.

Some people will see this as another fad diet. But my two problem triggers are butter and bread. On a raw lifestyle there is none. No butter, no bread.
Brendan Brazier is a triathlete that is also a raw vegan. I have both book so I have plenty of menus.

The buzz word right now is paradigm shift ( A dramatic change in methodology or practice. It often refers to a major change in thinking and planning, which ultimately changes the way projects are implemented.) Well I am doing a paradigm shift.

So far, my best juice has been :
4 celery stalk,
2 apples,
1 chunk of ginger root,
25 red grapes.

I also did :
1 beet,
4 carrots,
1 chunk of ginger root
( the effect of the raw beet on my stomach where intense, I immediatly got a big wave of nausea, apprently that is normal)

I plan to post my juice recipe and my impression over the next few days.

Now I am off to plan my menu for my raw lifestyle.

- 5 pounds

2011-02-04T10:37:00.000-04:00

This is a big loss because it brings me under 250.
I am sick as a dog, I have the cold from hell. It feels like the story from Stephen King, the one where people actually drown in their mucus, can't remember the title. The upside is that I am always nauseated so I am not hungry. I still go out for my walk and I started jog walking to. I am at 5 minutes walking 1 minute jogging. And I do my laps on monday, wednesday and friday. I don't have a fever so I figure it is okay to still exercise. I can't sleep properly because there is always a tickle in my throat that makes me cough.
I think I have momentum and motivation. Let's ride it baby. :)

3.5 pounds this week

2011-01-30T15:18:00.000-04:00

It is a constant battle. Every day, every minute I am thinking of keeping on track. I find it very hard this time. But I am sticking with it. I lost 3.5 pounds. Of course my hubby lost 6 pounds but he is young and a man and he didn't f**k up his metabolism like I did by doing yoyo dieting for more then 25 years.
So I will take the lost and I am ready for a 1 pound lost next week.

I am doing visualisation. I am doing a map of my dreams. I am hungry. Usually it pass after 3 days but this time it is sticking. I am looking around for snacks that I can munch on that are not too full of calories.

181 days before our vacation.

doctor's appointment

2011-01-17T11:49:00.002-04:00

We have our paper to go have our blood test. The doctor told me that there was a difference between reasoning and carelessness when it came to weight issues. I guess she truly believes that all people struggling with their weight are lazy!!!! She made me very angry. I have been stewing over her comments trying to separate the anger at myself and the anger at her boldness and arrogance. I am angry at myself yes but without making any excuses for my mistakes, it is also very hard to keep weight off. I should know, I lost 60 pounds, 4 times in my life.
She recommended that we wait at least 3 weeks before having our blood test so that our improvement in our diet would show.
Did she tell me something I didn't know? NO. The only diffence is this time my lovey will do this with me.
So I made the menus, I made the plans and I registered with a new site: . My fitness pal
194 days to our summer vacations.
21 days to our blood tests.

recommiting

2011-01-05T19:51:00.003-04:00

Well we forget about the past, we start a new. This is day 2 and altough I am experiencing grief over the fact that I can't eat what I want when I want, I would dare say that it is going pretty well. Tomorrow the Gagou starts school again and so I will start to walk regularly again. The pool opens up next week and I can start the swimming of the laps again. My favorite activity.
I want to be able to run my half marathon in may. I did it when I was 40 and I am going to do it when I am 50.
As I said before, I just hope that my body forgives me for all the abuse and lets me get back into running. I use to run 5 k 6 times a week. I use to run a 5 k in 27 minutes. I use to run a 10 k in 57 minutes and I ran the half marathon in 2 hours and 37 minutes.
I am reading success stories, I am logging on to Sparkpeople and I will really try to come and write on my blog every day.
Here we go.

ouch!!!!

2010-11-14T09:41:00.002-04:00

I went grocery shopping yesterday and as I was standing at the cash putting stuff in the bags, I twisted and suddenly all the air went out my lungs!!! Something in my back twisted and I was in an amazing amount of pain. All that to say that it hurts when I move, when I lift my arms, when I twist my head. So no training yesterday. No training today. I am in pain.
My Booboo is rubbing the affected area with special lavender cream and it helps a lot and of course I am taking extra strenght tylenol. I don't think it was my training that did this. I have been very careful to not push too fast and taking my time to get use to all that I do. And the weight I lift in P90 are only 5 pounds. Really not heavy. I did this on purpose. Anyway I am taking a few days off even tough I feel like such a failure. But I really think I need to take my time to heal.
Now I need to stay focus on the food intake and all will be well.
12 days without an overstuffing feast is a miracle.

day 9

2010-11-09T15:28:00.003-04:00

I am doing so well. It is unbelievable. I am on day 9 of the P90 as well. I surprise myself.
I have started to reread the book from Sheri Zampelli, it had help me in the past and it helps to see why you are proscrastinating in areas of your life. In a non scale victory I am proud to have spend 4 hours yesterday cleaning my Gagoo's room. From top to bottom, inside out. I gave away 5 bags of unused stuff. My usual routine was : going to bed, saying: tomorrow I will clean her room. Getting up, walking in her room and being so discouraged that I would walk out and say, maybe tomorrow. Yesterday morning, I walked in and was completely oppressed by the same feelings, wanting to run away. I decide to stay and clean for 30 minutes. 30 minutes soon turned into 4 hours and now all is clean. I am very, very, very proud of myself.
Now I have to do the same thing with the kitchen. I have no space but at the same time I know that I have lots of stuff that I don't need to keep. Tomorrow is the day for the kitchen.
I know that the healing CD from Doreen Virtue has helped me as well. I listen to it at the begining of this journey. I have never felt so motivated in the past. I know that I have release some old wounds and forgave myself alot of things.

Today I went to have the winter tires put on the car at the dealership. It gave me the occasion to do my walk/run in the beautiful forest trail. I love it there. And I am so happy because the 5k took me 49m 13s. I ran 8 times 30 seconds. So I know for sure that I will have a much better time for the resolution run on December 31st. I had been struggling with the idea of registering for it and I did. Now I know it will go well.
I am not dwelling on the fact that I use to run a 5k in 27 minutes. I will go back to that and even be better.

day 3

2010-11-03T12:57:00.002-04:00

I have been doing my walks every morning and the P90. I went swimming on monday and today.
So far the calories have been under 1500. Last night was very hard as I had made pizza. And it was good. I was starving after my portion and it was the end of the day. I didn't know how I could do it till this morning. I went back for a piece of pizza and then I wrapped it and put it in the fridge. But I woke up this morning completely starving. I know it takes a while to get use to the lower intake of calories.
I don't think it is emotional hunger. I really think it is physical hunger. I will see if it last until next week then I may have to up my intake to 1800.
Thank you for the beautiful comments. It helps alot.

1st of the month

2010-11-01T14:09:00.001-04:00

Ok, I am recentering myself. Here we are in november and there is not alot of time left before I am 50. Even tough I failed all those other days of the year: 304 to be exact, I still have 61 to do better.
This morning I went for my walk, 53 minutes, I did the first day of P90 and I went to the pool for 40 laps. I am really tired but I will move like this every day. It is the only way I can see the scale move down. I am counting my calories. And I will succeed.
I am tired, always out of breath, unable to bend down without hurting my knee. I look like I am 75 year old. Hell I saw 75 year old that are in better shape then I am.
I see my mom, 73, who is getting worst by the day. I do not want to be like her. Ever. I want to enjoy life.
I am an overeater and just like an alcoholic I have to recognize my addiction. And just like an alcoholic I have to take it a day at a time. I know that for the first few days I will have to take it a minute at a time.
Thankfully, all the exercises I did this morning occupied my mind so I didn't think of eating.
There is lots and lots of candy in the house because of Halloween and lots and lots of dessert because of the murder mystery friday night. But I am more a salty person so I will be careful to not have chips, bread and butter surrounding me.
I am commiting to be here every day and to be accountable for my choices.
P90 is a program that last 90 days. I figure that it isn't that long when you think that there is already 304 days that passed without me doing anything else then maintening my weight.
Here we go, God help me.

thanks for the Internet

2010-10-07T14:53:00.002-04:00

I got beautiful comments from perfect strangers.
I will consider that they are my angels.
I was able to stay under 1500 monday and tuesday with almost little effort. I went for my walks on monday and tuesday and for swimming on monday.
On wednesday, the Gagoo was off school until next tuesday ( Canadian Thanksgiving). We went shopping with my mom and we stopped at the buffet. All was lost there.
I actually saw a woman eating salads and only salads. She didn't even bat an eye toward the fry food and the sauce and pizza.
I tought to myself, that is very odd. Then I realize, no it is not odd at all. She is the norm, I am the exception. It is me who is odd. Obese, taking medication for hypertension and still eating that fried salty food. That woman was slim and trim and she looked very healthy.
Lots of things are starting to click in my mind. I am, I think starting to see the light. I have been praying Hariel, He is the angel that helps with liberation and freedom. So many times in my life, angels have been there, showing me the way, helping me, conforting me that all will be well.
I know that I need to do this on my own. And that is partly why I am not consulting. I know that in a way, I am looking for help for work that I have to do on my own. Always looking for a crutch. Nobody can lose weight for me.
I know the drill, less calories in, more calories out.
Thank you for your kind words. Maybe I am not lost after all.
I am just exhausted and tired of starting over and over again.
I lost that same weight 4 times so far. It is very hard for me not to listen to that little voice in my head saying: You will fail again, don't even try, it is not worth it....
I am worth it and I can do it. Of course, right now, my belly is full so it is very easy to say that.

I am totally lost

2010-09-16T21:20:00.003-04:00

I am trying to find myself. Good news is I am still at 254, bad news is I can't find my way. I know it is time to get off my butt and to find the motivation. I have all the good reasons to do so but I still am not strong enough to do it. All my important date have come and passed and I still didn't lose anything. I don't want to get to be 50 ( in 170 days) and still be my miserable self. I don't know if I should consult...

beautiful butterfly

2010-05-28T18:56:00.003-04:00

Today, in the front yard I saw a Tiger swallowtail. First time ever.

It was beautiful and it made me smile.
Enjoying nature, making everything zen.

the scale stays the same...

2010-05-21T08:57:00.002-04:00

But I don't mind so much because I took my measurements instead and I lost 1 inch on my waist and another one on my hips. I can feel the clothes I wear being looser. I am staying zen with the weight loss. By shifting the focus on getting healthier and increasing my aerobic strenght I think it will be better for me to stay in for the long run ( pun intended...)
This morning I could take my time at the pool because the gagou didn't have school. So I stayed and did 60 laps. Took me 58 minutes. I am very proud.
I didn't go walking on wednesday before my yoga class. It is too hot and I sweat even tough I take a shower. So it is a bit weird to be in a yoga class sweating like a pig. The yoga class and the swimming is enough for now. In the fall, I will add the walk again.
Tonight: Robin Hood. I can't wait.

I am in the groove

2010-05-01T18:57:00.003-04:00

Things are going well. I am eating under 1800 calories every day without any efforts really. I am exercising every day, walking, swimming, weight lifting.
Today was my rest day and I decided to wear my heart rate monitor anyway. I only burned 1500 calories. Now this is my rest day so I am fine with that. But when I am overeating and not exercising, I now see the damage that I was doing to my body.
Now on days that I take my walk and weight lift, I spent in the 4500 calories from 7h00 in the morning to 19h00 at night. And the days that I swim after my walk, I go up to 6000 calories spent. I am very happy to know this because it motivates me even more. I will exercise regularly now. I want to be fit and healthy.
Yeah me. I will get fit by fifty.

40 laps and 2.3 lbs lost

2010-01-29T09:30:00.003-04:00

I was able to go swimming this morning again. The gagou has a day off and I ask my mother to come up and stay with her so that I could go. It is so calm. I love it. The only thing is I have to find something that will give me energy. I have tried pecans and cherries this morning but it took until the 10th laps for my body to be warmed up.

So all in all a very good week:
2.3 lbs lost
activity every day for at least 90 minutes.
Yesterday was awesome, I walked to the ice ring and I was able to skate for 2 km. It took me 20 minutes. There was a big snow storm with wind gust to 40 kmh but the ice ring is partly covered by big trees. The walk home was something else but I did it. So that added up to 45 minutes walking and 20 minutes skating. Then last night was the aquaenergy class.
I am suppose to go for my run later on. I am waiting for the temperature to warm up a bit. It is - 26C.

I have to be diligent with the body lotion because 5 days in the pool equals very, very dry skin.

We are off to Montreal for my third and fourth daughter's birthdays. One turns 23 and the other 21. I will be a healthy and full of energy grand-mother. Still I give a big hug to my inner child. I love you.

Have a good week-end.

bullies

2010-01-25T10:18:00.002-04:00

There are all kind of bullies in the world. It's a fact. There is a reason why the government is making such a big campagn to make people aware of them. I almost lost my fourth daughter to bullies. She was bullied for a period of 4 years. The lost of her self confidence drove her to drugs and that in turn drove her to try to kill herself, twice. I thank God every day that she is still with us and that she is now a strong woman with all her future before her.
Now, it is the Gagou that is being attacked by a bully. Yes it is only kindergarten, yes she is 6 but when a boy, from 1st grade tells her every day that he will break her glasses and then makes a gesture of hitting her in the face, let me tell you she has all the reason to be scared. I wrote a note to the teacher to see what we could do. She called me back and she will talk to the boy and have the director talk to him as well. I know that this kid may have problem at home, I know that maybe life is hard for him but this is no way to act. Hopefully, if it is stopped in elementary school he will grow up to be a responsible adult.
All that to say that the last two days have been very hard on my emotional hunger. I am starving. Resisting but still starving. I am working extra hard to keep out of the kitchen and also to not go to the store and buy all my "drugs" : chips with dip, nacho with cheese, poutine, french fries, french bread with butter...
It is rainging so I cannot go for a nice walk, not so much the rain that is preventing me as much as the ice that is everywhere.

I just came back from the pool, 38 laps for me. Yeah.
Now, I am going to clean, anything, just clean. I will succeed.

week 2 day 1 of first day to 5 k

2010-01-24T10:37:00.002-04:00

It is a beautiful sunny day and it was not too cold. I started week 2 of first day to 5 k and it went great. Very happy with myself.
Last friday, my lovey took a day off and to spend the most day with him, I didn't go swimming at noon. Instead, I got up at 6h00 and went to the pool. I did 40 laps. I wish I could always go in the morning like that. The atmosphere is very different. Only people doing laps. There was a lady that was in front of me, her foot kept hitting the water with a loud bump. It was very relaxing for me, I am not sure that relaxing is the best word to describe it. But it was a rythm that kept me in line. I loved it. At one point, I was swimming on my back and my ears were immersed, I could hear my heart. It was extraordinary. I had a very good swimming experience. I pushed myself a little more then I usually do. This new thing of doing one lap in crawl and one lap on my side or my back is helping alot with my neck. I try to put my face in the water but my head is still very stiff. I will get this. And later for sure I will try and take course to get the right technique.

On friday again, my lovey and I went for a long walk. It was beautiful.

I lost another 3.6 pounds. I know that it is mostly water at this point but I am happy to see a loss.

If the storm doesn't come in early afternoon, I will go skating today with the gagou. I will bring the garmin to measure the ice ring and I plan to go skating every day that the weather permit next week.

Motivation is always here. I am very proud of controlling my emotional hunger. I am able for now, to make the difference between the two hunger.

I may be losing my pounds of pain but right now I am in pain

2010-01-19T16:42:00.002-04:00

Well that slim in 6 routine is a hard thing on the arms. I am sore. The pool was great yesterday. I did 34 laps. Eventually I will want to improve and for that I am going to have to check the time I start and finish and all of that. But for now, just doing laps and not falling to the bottom of the pool is what is important.

Things are still holding great, this morning I went to Chez Cora with my mother and I had a spinach omelet, no potatoes but tomatoes instead and toast with no butter. One sugar and one cream in my decaf. I will succeed.

I did the slim in 6 routine and I did day 2 of first day to 5 k. Not too hard, I am pretty sure that the medication I take for the high blood pressure is helping with my breathing. Because I am not out of breath. It's true tough that I don't push myself to the maximum. This is the maximum effort I can give right now and I am taking it one step at a time.

losing your pounds of pain

2010-01-18T11:20:00.004-04:00

I am reading this book from Doreen Virtue . For me it is absolutely cathartic.
I recommend it to everybody.
I wasn't abuse physically but I was not taken care of properly emotionally by both my parents. I am not putting blame on them, I am just stating a fact. They were not mean, they were just not equiped. I am eating because I am trying to fill that emotional void. I will learn to eat to feed my physical need not my emotional ones. One step at a time. But I will succeed.

So today, I am giving a big hug to my inner child.

This is day 8 of under 1800 calories. I am not tempted at all.
Everytime a situation arise that makes me unconfortable, I grab the book. I realize that at one point I will need something else but for now it is helping me. I am not binging, I am not getting drunk on food. And I am exercising.
On friday, my lovey and I went to a little exotic restaurant that is here in Buckingham, Masala . It was good but not as good as on the Orleans side, Rangoli but it was acceptable. There is not a lot of vegetarian choice so this will limit our visits. But the point is that I was able to eat out with my lovey ( which in reality is more of an emotional need to be alone with him) and eat healthy and normal portions. I was very proud. Plus we walked to go there and back, so an hour walk. This is what I want to do with him.

Yesterday I went on the first day of the first day to 5 k podcast. It felt so good. I miss running. I have been reading on obese runners and as long as you listen to your body and don't go for speed it is okay.
Today I started the Slim in 6 program and I am going to the pool for some more laps.

On wednesday, when I did the aquajogging after my laps, I realize how difficult it is. I think I ended up aquacycling more then aquajogging. Moving my legs in a jogging motion ended up in a cycling motion. I don't know if it is really important. I hope that today I have time to do more. You see the lifeguards at the pool are the students of the next door high school so if a teacher decides to keep them in class a few minutes more it takes away from the 40 minutes period of swimming.

I will conquer this. I am worth it and I am able.

is anybody there?

2010-01-14T13:16:00.002-04:00

I tell you, with Facebook and Sparkpeople, it is not rare to see Bloggers going MIA.
I want to try and come back to blogging as it helps to clear your head and keep a souvenir of the journey as well.
So this is day 4. For now I am concentrating on the calories. I plan to go swimming 3 times a week and we registered for our aquaenergy class twice a week. Next week I start the walks again. I went for a long walk with my lovey 2 weeks ago and somehow managed to injured my big toe. It was an excruating pain on top of my toe that any walking made worse. I have never had this type of pain before. Like a very bad cramp that would not go away.
So I am taking it easy on the walking. Luckily the swimming is helping alot.
Still 233 days before the wedding.
And I am going to be a grandmother, twice. My second and fourth daughters are pregnant and both due in August. I want to be a healthy grand-mother so I will get back in shape.

day 5

2009-11-06T09:18:00.002-04:00

well I am still here. I survived a very stressfull day yesterday without eating the whole house. My third daughter was in the hospital for a severe pain in her stomach. Took the whole day to figure out it was a kidney stone. She was in Chateauguay, I was in Gatineau. Her boyfriend didn't have much battery in his cellphone plus he couldn't leave her too long to use the cell phone outside of the hospital. I got text messages telling me, she is on morphine....she is getting a scan. I was loosing it. So I started to pace the house like a lion in a cage. I swear that is how I felt.
And then this urge came over me like it always does, to eat all that is in the cupboard. Opening doors, closing them. I stepped out of myself at one point and decided that it wouldn't accomplish anything to eat everything. I needed to stay focus because all would be well with Andree-anne and then where would I be? ashamed and derailed from my plan. I am still amazed that I resisted. I did go on Sparkpeople and ask for energy from everybody. I know that my prayers have been answered.
( I still wonder where that inner voice came from and where was it hiding for so long...)

So here I am, day 5 and I did exercise every day ( walking and turbo jam) this morning I ran 4 times 30 seconds. Oh my God it feels so good. I am taking it very, very, very, very slow.

day 2

2009-11-03T12:51:00.002-04:00

I have been exchanging emails with my father ( who I didn't see in the last 23 years) for a while now. Ever since the possibility of meeting him came up, 2 years ago, I have been steadely gaining weight to end up at my biggest weight ever: 262. I am staring 300 pounds in the face and it is a scary thing. I have been gaining at least 1 pound a week and I know that if I don't do something I will just keep getting bigger until I am at the 300 pounds mark. I remember with my first pregnancy ever realizing that I could very well hit the 200 pounds mark and that scaring me and disgusting me. Well I have been over 200 for 20 years now.
Last week, my father said that if I wanted to I could see him on December 27th. I have decided to just go for it. And since then I have been able to count my calories and do my exercises.
I don't know how long it will last but for now it seems to be ok.
I wrote to my father to let him know that one of the reason I didn't want to meet with him was the fact that I was obese. He always had a very bad opinion of obese people ( that they were lazy, stupid, ignorant, imbecile...you find the adjective he used it). My whole family on my mother's side has been obese for as far as I can remember and he never missed an opportunity to put them down. He told me that I shouldn't be afraid of his judgement because he understood now that there are many different reasons to be obese. He said that he was the one who was afraid of my judgement since he was the one who abandonned us when I was 7 leaving us to be very poor, with no affection and no emotional support. I am ready to forgive him. I want this part of my life to be over with. To let it go completely.
I am tired of being obese. I am tired of not being able to wear nice clothes. I am tired of being out of breath all the time. I am suffering from many side effects from the high blood pressure medication and I want to get off of them.
I am tired of not being a good example for my youngest daughter. I am praying that my father's explanations are the key to finally releasing all this weight and to stop this self destruction path that I have been on for so long.
I want to live and to be there for my baby and to see my grand-children. I want to live a long love life with my hubby.
Please God, give me strenght.

Thanksgiving

2009-10-12T06:58:00.002-04:00

And because I am giving thanks today for all I have in my life, it is the best day to start again with my commitment for a better life.
I have many people around me that are counting on me to be there for a long time. I enjoy life too much to be commiting a slow bite by bite suicide.
I am taking the Dr Oz approach: teaching new ways to my taste buds to fool them and mostly to break the sugar dependance.
So this morning, I didn't have my tea with brown sugar and cream, I am having my beautiful Anastasia tea with a 1/4 of a teaspoon of agave. I didn't have my toast, I had a bowl of All bran. I want to succeed. I am at 260 and it is scaring the bejasus out of me.
I don't care what people say, I don't care that I am starting all over again for the millionth time. I need to do this and I am doing this.
Day 1.

impressive stuff

2009-09-26T18:17:00.001-04:00

Will beat 147,222 times, pump 2,159 gallons of blood, and push that blood nearly 17,778 miles throughout my body!

Created by MyFitnessPal.com

because it is appropriate

2009-09-10T21:36:00.000-04:00

Day 6

2009-08-24T06:38:00.003-04:00

The week-end was a bit harder but I made it. My lovey helps me so much. We have an amazing chemistry in all aspects of our lives. Even when we diet. I am so grateful that he chose me and that he allows me to love him. That he was put on my path in the universe.
Yesterday was very difficult for me, I was hungry ALL THE TIME. I am pretty sure it was psychological hunger. But I came trough.
We spent the morning painting the deck railings and I cut the grass. Maybe that's why I was so hungry. I drank lots of water.
Saturday night, we had our scheduled bowl of popcorn. And it worked fine. We ate it and that was it. I hope that it is the trick.
I am doing 10 minutes of Wii fit again today. I made a commitment. My lovey walks from the bus to his work from monday to friday, that is about 40 minutes of walking. That is one thing I miss, when the Gagoo was younger and she still fit in her stroller, we use to go for walks every night. Now she is too tall for that and she doesn't know how to ride a bike well enough to go for long outing so far.
Well, to the beginning of a new week.

day 4

2009-08-22T15:09:00.002-04:00

The first week, I did 1 day, the second week I did 2 days, the 3 week I did 3 days and this week I am up to 4 days. The big difference, my lovey is doing it with me this time. Of course, after 4 days, he already lost 6 pounds but when you are 31, you have the metabolism of a rocket.
I am still feeling hunger but I can control it.
We just came back from the movies and we just watch the movie....No popcorn....no pepsi...no Montana's before or after.
I realize that my lovey will lose his 25 pounds in one month, most probably. And that it will take me 1 year to lose my extra weight, but it helps so much to share this with him.
The Gagoo is starting school next week, on the 31st and then I can start taking my walks again and going to the pool to do some laps.
Things are falling back into place, slowly.

130 days to our cruise

2009-08-11T15:40:00.002-04:00

I know, you are not suppose to set a goal for your weight loss. The theory being that once the goal is reached, all will go to hell.
But we are going on a cruise, a cruise!!!! First time cruise for me, the gagoo and my lovey.
I can't wait. It will be from December 20th to the 27th. And we are staying one night over in Boston. Now for those of you who don't know this, I LOVE Boston. I always dream of going there and visiting the frog pond Don't know why, but I have always been very attracted to the city of Boston. And I had never been.
We will then take the plane from Boston ( 250$ round trip instead of 1100$ from Ottawa) to Tampa. And board the Carnival Legend
Now, this is day 2 of my new dedication to losing 20 pounds for the cruise.
I also want to get off the meds. That is my bigger goal.
So here it goes.

Day 2

2009-07-28T19:42:00.002-04:00

I am on day 2. It was very hard yesterday but I did it. It is now almost 8pm and I did it today as well. I even took a 30 minutes walk and went to the waterpark with the gagoo this afternoon. So, in all, one hour of exercise.
I decided to not drink my usual tea. I take my tea with brown sugar and cream. It amounts to 75 calories per cup of tea and I take around 5 per day. Just that could mean a pound a week.
But it is so hard. I love my sweet tea. For now, I am not strong enough to take only a cup. I know that if I take one, it will turn into 5. It takes 21 days to start and keep a new habit. I will go 21 days without a sweet tea. I start by one week without and then next week, I will try and introduce something healthier to drink.
I would really like if it was green tea. Would be good for my health but I really cannot stand the taste. I am hoping to try and like a mint green tea and take just a bit of honey in it. We will see how that goes.
I am making a conscious effort to take 3 dairy product a day. I have lots of problem with milk and other dairies. Always have.
But I start with a yogurt for breakfast and that is one serving already. I eat a tomato soup made with milk for lunch and that is two. Except the tomato soup has lots of sodium. But one battle at a time.
I will also allow myself one day of eating what I want. I have been reading research on the subject and apparently it not only is good for moral but it is also very good for your metabolism. It gives it a jolt and prevents plateau and helps keeping your metabolism reving at a higher level.
Next week , I start the weights. I have to rebuild strenght.
I am in a very poor shape right now. We went to see Depeche mode on saturday night at the Bell center and there are stairs there. Lots of stairs when you go from one street to another. I was so out of breath that I thought my heart was going to jump out of my chest. I was disgusted with myself.
My poor lovey keeps telling me that I look good. But my health is not good. I commit to taking my walk every day. Even if I do have to start with just 30 minutes for now. I know, by experience, that it comes back very fast. You can always feel the progress in a few days.
Here is to me getting back on track.

no title

2009-07-03T20:32:00.002-04:00

I haven't been writing in my blog because originally this blog was suppose to be about my weight loss journey. I am completely lost. I know how to do it and I have done it before. But I just can't do it. I am ashamed and that is why I haven't been writing at all. Now I am psyching myself up to begin again on sunday. I need to take care of myself. My clothes don't fit.
A friend of mine suggested I look into myself and find out what is going on in my life that is preventing me to take care of me. Is it stress? no, nothing at all. All is good in my life. I have started to wonder if it is because I cannot accept happiness? If I am deliberatly sabotaging myself. I don't think so.

Is it because I am lazy? Is it easier to not count calories and eat whatever I like?
I am sooooo tired of this cycle. I follow alot of successful loser. I also follow alot of not so succesfull loser. Some, that like me, lost a very good amount of weight, only to regain it all slowly. I have lost this weight 4 times so far. I have regained it 4 times. I believe my brain is saying: what's the point? At the same time, I don't want to die young. I have lots to live for.
I see my mother that got so scared when she had to start taking "sugar" pills that she lost 30 pounds. Now her blood pressure is in check and she will be able to stop taking them very soon. Her dose is half right now and she is being monitored to have them remove completely in the next month. Same thing with her sugar. As soon as she loses enough weight, she will be off them as well.
there is the proof, if you do what is right, you can get off the meds.
I want to be off the meds. I want to be healthy.

It is not even a question of being model thin, I have been aware for many years now that I will never be model thin. I want to be lighter. I would be happy with a size 14. I want to lose my fat belly, I look like I am 9 month pregnant. Not good.
So, tomorrow is a big party that we have to go to and then sunday, I start again.
And too bad if it is the same stuff that I talk about here. After all, this blog has always been for me. Since I am putting myself first, I need to write to keep my sane mind and that is what I am going to write.
1 pound a week if I have to. I will get there.

gardening

2009-06-04T19:51:00.008-04:00

We have been working hard for more then a week now. But the results are starting to show.

We did two borders in the front and one in the back. The one in the back is the first one ever that we follow a "plan" from a magazine. It is all made up of indigenous plants. It is going to take a few years before all the plants grow in to fill their space but I can't wait to see it as a finished product.

Even tough I planted dahlias, my mother couldn't wait when she saw some at the garden store. So we have a red one and a pink one. They are gorgeous.

The pile of wood from the old deck is almost all cut up. Then we can start a new island there. And I will get my fountain. We still have to decide on the style. Plenty of time.

I am back on track with my food. My cold is almost over. It was so bad that it cut my appetite. So it gave me a good start. It has been 3 days under 1800 calories. Here's to 1000 more.

Pomegranate juice from Pom

2009-06-01T07:58:00.003-04:00

I just got some coupons to try the pomegranate juice from Pom. I really like it. It is a bit tart and you can really taste the fruit.
Plus it is full of antioxidants.
I will try and drink one glass every day.
I love the bottles to.
And, they have a very good recipe to make a . pomtini

I am very happy that I got those coupons. Thank you.

gardening

2009-05-29T09:34:00.005-04:00

We are working very hard in the yard ( rhyme!!!) and it is starting to show. I will post pictures very soon.
We have adopted the square gardening techniques this summer. And we created two flower bed in the front.
There is a giant silver maple, beautiful, beautiful tree. It is very old and so it is big. It gives out a lot of shadow. The people that were here before us didn't do anything with the lawn. They just let it be. So we are trying to take care of it.
We made two flower beds and we seeded lawn again. I know from experience that in 2 or 3 years we will see a lawn that is healthier and greener. Fuller to.
I love spring. Very expensive but it is so beautiful. We are surrounded by garden store and they are all full of wonderful idea.
And we found a peach tree!!!! I am so excited. Nothing beats a fresh peach. Can't wait.
Ok, we are off to go see Up, in 3 D. wouhou!!!!

I have absolutely no motivation

2009-05-27T17:54:00.003-04:00

Nothing, zip, nada. I don't know what to use as a goal. I can't even stay under my calories for the day for one day!!!

My mother is losing steadely. She started to take pills to control her sugar and that seemed to have whipped her in the right direction. I will try again. I have to. I am trying to build the momentum. I read plenty of success stories. I read on motivation. I read on addiction. I would really like to be under the 200 pounds mark. That is 55 pounds to go there. Arggggg.
My clothes don't fit anymore. I am too tight in everything. My lovey loves me more every day.

I know: just do it.

I don't love myself right now. Not at all.

Expedia !!!

2009-05-25T19:24:00.003-04:00

Well this is a rant, beware.
When we went to Copenhagen, we made our reservations trough Expedia.ca. We found out that if we had made the room reservation on our own, we would have saved 175$ per room. A deal? Expedia is not. When I wrote to Expedia to inquire about the difference in price, I was told that it was the way it was. Hotel can change their prices anytime and I had agreed to the price of the room when making the reservation. So too bad for me.
So people, be aware, shop around and do not use Expedia. We will never use it again.

we are back

2009-05-18T09:06:00.008-04:00

What a beautiful trip this was. Copenhagen is an amazing city where the people are beautiful and very friendly. They ride everywhere by bike and they leave their bikes unlock in the special parking.

We also visited Malmo and Lund in Sweden. It was a short one day tour but it was so worth it. The only day that it rained. So the tour on the canal was a very wet tour and when we got back to the bus our fingers were completely frozen.

I would do that trip anytime again if we had the money.
The food and everything in Denmark is very expensive. An average meal in the restaurant is 30$ per person. We went to a grocery store and bought peaches ( 5 for 5$) a pint of blueberries ( 5$), some bread 4$ and some water ( 2 liters for 5$). Yet all the young people are eating in restaurant. I really don't know how they can afford it. There are Mercedes benz, Alfa Romeo and Peugeot luxury cars everywhere.
We visited alot of places ( using guided tours is the best way to see the most place possible).

When we went to visit the Guiness record museum ( a must in any city... ;) ) we left the hotel and it was around 16 C but when we got out of the museum the temperature had dropped to 8C. We had to find a vest for the Gagoo. What we didn't know was that we were in the very, very, very expensive shopping district of Copenhagen. So we ended up buying her a regular looking shirt for 70$!!! We never spend that kind of money on clothes for her. That is against all my principles. But vacation calls for unexpected spending. So I will probably frame this vest. :)

4 days to Denmark

2009-05-07T17:14:00.002-04:00

Yes!!!
We just bought the plane tickets and the hotel is reserved.
I can't wait. Will take lots of pictures.

7 days to Copenhaguen?

2009-05-03T14:12:00.002-04:00

Well, my lovey didn't get the official approval for the trip yet. And he is fed up and convinced that it means that we are not going. I am the optimist and still belive that we are going. Please say a few words tonight so that we can go. :)

We have been working in the yard. I am assigned to the saw to cut the wood from the old deck. Holy crap there is still so much. But we are putting a few bags a time in the trash. I know, I know it is not the most ecological thing to do but heck, I didn't find anybody that recycle pressure treated wood. I wanted to use it for the compost box and for the vegetable box but you can't because any treated wood from before 2004 leaks arsenic and all kind of nasty in the soil and that is not something I want to do in my compost and garden. So, yes, I know I am dumping my problem in the environment but I don't know what else to do. The other option is to pay 700$ to have it dumped in a dump that apparently is the same dump as the city's dump. See what I mean?

Other then that, I am still walking every day. 1 hour each time and we have started to swim again. Not on a regular basis like before but once or twice a week. I was very disapointed because the first time, two weeks ago, I could only do 8 laps. But last week, I was able to do 14. When I think that I was up to 32. Gives me a goal to achieve.

With facebook, and Sparkpeople, I find it very hard to be consistent in this blog. But I don't want to shut it down. So I am going to try again. Just like I am counting calories again.

back to normal!!!

2009-04-08T10:33:00.002-04:00

We have gone to hell and back.
Isabella was sick with a cold for a week, then on the friday she started to have a 104 F temperature. Took her to the hospital because she was complaining of a neck pain and a stomach ache. I was thinking meningitis or appendicit. The tylenol would not bring the fever down. 5 hours at the hospital: they see nothing. Pass a urine test just in case. And nothing. They tell me to wait at least 3 days because with young children, a high fever is not always a big problem. So we wait the whole week-end, with a very high fever and coughing and difficulty breathing. I go on monday: it is a double pneumonia. X-rays, blood test, start of antibiotics. They now transfer us to the Gatineau hospital because it has a pediatric department. We get there for supposidely only one night, just to check the saturation in her blood. Next morning, the pediatrician comes to see us and they saw a bacteria in the blood. She has a pneumocock pneumonia and a big ear infection. New rules: 24 hours without a fever, to establish that the antibiotics are working on the bacteria. Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday:still a fever. Go back for Xrays, they think they see water between the lungs and the lining of the lungs. So set for a sonogram on friday. Sonogram show nothing but the pediatrician still change the antibiotics to a full sprectrum one. Sunday, 2 am, no fever. Sunday 2pm no fever. 24 hours!!!! We are released on monday.
What an emotional roller coaster. I admire all parents that have to go trough this experience or any disease. You live on the words of the nurses and the doctors and the inhalotherapist. She was getting clapping session 3 times a day to detach the stuff from her lungs. You basically give her life in the hands of those professionals.
There was an inquiry from the epidiomology center because there is now a vaccine for that pneumocock. She had it in double dose at 1, 4 and 5. It was establish that she caught it at school. But nobody will ever know who was the carrier because nobody else got sick like her.

In the meantime, you have the in-laws that are worried as hell. So their ways of dealing with that is to bombard Vince with questions and commentaries:"obviously that is a lousy hospital, obviously those doctors have no clues..." Arrrrgggggg.
They love her and they don't mean any harm but if they only knew what a burden it was for Vince.

My diet has gone awired. No exercise either because I was at the hospital for the whole period. Vince slept there the first night because I would have collapsed. All other nights were me. I couldn't be away from my baby.
And now I have a bad cold. No wonder, I just held the fort for 10 days and now that she is better it is my turn to be sick.

35 days to Coppenhagen.

Happy birthday to my lovey

2009-03-22T09:24:00.002-04:00

He turns 31 today. We went to see Knowing last night with friends. What a bad, bad, bad movie. The type where you go : oh come on!!!! I said this before, no more Nicolas Cage movie. This time, let's hope I remember.

My cold is getting better. Yesterday I went for a walk and my head felt like it was going to explode. Sinus heavyness. And I am sooooo sleepy.

Hope to get back on track soon.
Have a nice sunday.

you talking to me?

2009-02-23T08:48:00.003-04:00

Yesterday, at the pool, there was a little lady that actually apologize to me for being so slow in the corridor!!! That made me laugh, alot and then it made me realize that there are people that are actually slower then me.
It is never has bad as you think it is. :)

cold is almost done

2009-02-11T19:10:00.003-04:00

Considering that winter is almost over, I feel very happy that this is only my third cold of the season. It was in my right ear that it hurt the most. I tought that maybe it was the swimming but I don't put my right ear in the water at all. So that didn't make sense. Then it was my throat but now all is well. I went swimming and was able to do 10 laps. I just couldn't catch my breath. I don't cough anymore now so my ribs will heal finally. I don't know if it is residuel from each cold but every time I cough my ribs hurt.

I would really love a good massage. That is what I am going to get for my birthday.
My lovey is coming back from a 4 days business trip in Halifax tomorrow night. I can't wait. It has been so long since he went on a trip that I was getting use to having him at home every night.

Today is + 11 and it is melting everywhere. But tomorrow it is going back to winter temperature.

In vino veritas

2009-02-08T10:33:00.003-04:00

Or in my case, my brain uses the wine to tell me lies...
It was saturday, it was my rest day. It had gone well all week, so I decided I would take a nice glass of wine with supper. I love red wine. And I had received a nice bottle at Christmas. So I opened it up. Now, my lovey loves caramel popcorn and we had discovered excellent caramel popcorn at kernels. Decadent popcorn. We bought it once or twice then since we have to go all the way to Orleans ( 40 minutes from here) to get it ( only Kernels we know in this area) and because it is 8$ a bag and because it is sooo caloric we stopped buying it.

Enters Michael Smith butterscoth popcorn episode of Chef at home. I have a second glass of wine as we watch tv. Ok, I can make butterscoth ( of course I can it is butter and sugar, as my lovey says, it is in my blood...) So I make the recipe and serves it to my lovey. He looooooves it. I start to eat some with my lovey. We split the bowl. It is popcorn after all. Then I feel full. After our nightime activities...I am lying in bed, thinking of my day as I always do so that I can say thanks and meditate. I see the recipe in my head and then it hits me...I cup of sugar: 1600 calories, 1/2 cup of water: 0 calorie,1 cup of butter 1600 calories...Oh My God!!!! Add the popcorn: 300 calories. We each ate 1800 calories, just in the popcorn...I can never make that recipe again. Ever again.

Ok, off to take my walk. I really, really need it.

friday's workout

2009-02-07T08:31:00.002-04:00

I took a walk for 46 minutes. Can't take off time everyday...
My mother stayed home with the gagoo so I went to the pool alone and I was able to do 30 laps in 32 minutes. I did 6 crawl lap and 24 breaststroke. The crawl is getting easier.

Today is my rest day. We are going to see Coraline with the gagoo.

cut off some more time from my walk

2009-02-05T21:47:00.003-04:00

Today I did 5 km in 50 minutes. I have to say that it being -20 outside helps a lot when it is time to walk fast. Some of the sidewalk were full of snow and ice so I could have walked it even faster. Happy dance!!!

And I finally measure the pool, it is 25 meters. So I suck even more when it comes to speed. Of course, I do breastroke and it is my version of breaststroke ( I don't put my head in the water, I don't know how to hold my breath in the water and then take out my head of the water and breathe... I always end up swallowing water from my nose). I tried doing the crawl but my heart feels like it is going to explode when I do. I am just too fat for now. So I try to do 1 lap of crawl for every 5 laps of breaststroke. I figure it is like running with walking interval. Because when I do crawl I go much faster. Baby steps!!!

Tonight was the aquaclass. Again with Karina and she was on fire. My arms are killing me. But it is getting easier.

aquaclass

2009-02-04T11:56:00.002-04:00

Yesterday I walked it in 50 minutes and I had the aquaclass. I was able to sneak in 5 laps before the beginning of the class. Yeah!!!!

Today, I did the same distance in 46 minutes. And I am going for some laps at noon.
I really like this schedule.

Ever since I rake the snow from the roof, I am suffering from terrible carpal tunnel pain and numbness. It wakes me up in the night. And I wake up in the morning with both hands completely numb. I have to find myself an osteopath. I keep dropping things that I am holding because my hands are too weak. Not good. Specially for the biking season that is coming. I need to fix this before spring.

waterworks and walk

2009-02-02T13:49:00.002-04:00

Did 52 minutes walk ( 4.59 km) and 20 laps in the pool ( 25 minutes) plus held the chair position in water for a count of 200.

Duhhhh

2009-02-02T10:01:00.003-04:00

Well apparently, it is not because you exercise 1 hour a day that you can eat whatever you want!!!! This week-end was very bad as it was superbowl sunday.
I always forget that I can't eat like my lovey. He is 30, he is a man.
So, I start counting calories again this morning. Seriously.
The trip to Copenhagen is coming soon and I want to be confortable in my airplane seat. Plus my 50s is coming soon and I don't want to have to struggle with my weight in my 50s. I want to be done with that for the second part of my century!!! Move on to something else.
While I don't want to have a supermodel body( that will never happen) even tough I am focusing on being in shape and keeping my heart healthy, I would really like to be under the 200s.

life with an engineer

2009-01-29T21:16:00.003-04:00

Me: do you think that this pool is 50 meters?
Lovey: 50 meters is 164.04 feet or 54.680 yards.
Me: ok, do you think that this pool is 50 meters?
Lovey: We would have to measure it.
Me: never mind.

I love him dearly but I am a left brain and he is a right brain.
I can fantasize, imagine,guesstimate and pretend.
He needs cold hard facts, proof, mathematical equations and most importantly measures...
I don't understand mathematics he can explain life with mathematics.
After 7 years, I should know better then to ask those kind of question. :)

aquaclass

2009-01-23T21:12:00.002-04:00

Well when I said that the boy had a very hard routine, it was because I hadn't met Karina!!!! On thursday we are going to have Karina. She is completely insane. But it was so good. I usually have my pulse at 140 with the boy and it was 125 with the other girl but Karina brought me to 150.

Today, we went to Montreal to go see my lovey's nonna. She broke her hip walking on an icy sidewalk on sunday. She got operated on and she was in Verdun's hospital. We showed up this morning to be told that she had been transferred to a rehabilitation center.
Problem is that the nurse told us the address but not where it was exactly.
Turns out that there is 7 Hudson street in Montreal. We went up 5 of them, took 2 hours and then we gave up. We couldn't reach anybody they were all at work. No cell phone on. So we came back home. At least my lovey called her and she was happy to get his call.

Tomorrow, first swimming lesson of the gagoo and then we are off to the Lake Beauchamp park for a beautiful "free day". If there is not too many people we may get to try on snowshoes. But we are definitely skating on the lake.

Good night.

aquaclass with my mommy

2009-01-21T11:35:00.002-04:00

They started again finally. The first one was last night. And this morning, I am sore all over the place. ( could be also the shoveling I did, I swear not a day goes by without me shoveling for at least 30 minutes)
It looks like we are going to have the boy instructor again ( I can't hear his name when he says it so to me he is the boy). I like him a lot. He makes us work the whole 50 minutes, non stop. And then he ends with abs work.
This morning I had to leave the car at the garage for an oil change and I walked the way back. That was 5.6 km. Very nice because I could go in the little forest trail for part of the way. I didn't have my Ipod so I heard all the birds singing. I also saw a few animals prints in the snow. Not sure what they were but let say I was happy to be close to a road. Some of these paws were big.
They didn't call for the car yet so I don't think we will be swimming today. That is a shame. At least I had my walk.

baladi

2009-01-19T15:47:00.001-04:00

Today I shoveled outside and took off snow from the roof for one hour and a half. Then we went to the pool and I did 25 laps and 400 frog jumps and 30 abs thing.
Tonight, Baladi!!! I can't wait to try that.

Home sweet home

2009-01-18T08:49:00.002-04:00

We left on friday to go to Montreal. My lovey took the day off. It was his Nonna's birthday and since monday is Elisabeth's birthday we went to the restaurant for supper.
It was very nice. Even tough Marie was serving us ( we went to the restaurant where she works) and Anne wasn't there as she had to work but we saw her the next morning at my in-laws. My mom came to for breakfast. She was very impress with the house as I knew she would. It means nothing to me because I know that it is all faked. To me, what matters most is the people in the house. Looks are not that important to me. When you love someone they are always the most beautiful anyway!!! And looks can be very deceiving.

Of course, we forgot to bring our cameras so no pictures of the supper.
My poor Stephanie is single now. I am really heartbroken because she is very sad. She had been with him for 3 years. But I am also elated because he was so wrong for her. I know, I know a mother never thinks the boyfriend is right for her daughter. But in this case it was really true. Because I love my two other son-in-laws. They are good man that take excellent care of my Anne and Elisabeth. They are generous, hard working and very handsome. Her boyfriend has been beaten by his father when he was a young boy and he would need therapy. He won't go. He has many problems: alcohol, drugs and problems in school. That is why he left school very young. I always felt sad for him but somebody needs to want to help himself and in his case, he doesn't.

Stephanie has the knack to choose man that have to be saved. And of course, that never works. Women do that mistake once or twice and then hopefully they realize that it can't be done. I did it and I think that most of my girlfriends did it to. So I am praying for her to get a good man that will take care of her for once. It is so hard to see your baby hurting like that. Plus Stephanie doesn't share her feelings so it is even harder to help her.

Workout front: I went to the pool on wednesday and took long walks on thursday and saturday. It was very hard on the mental side because I actually gained weight when I stepped on the scale friday morning. I really have to try and weight myself only once a month or something. Because my clothes are beginning to be loose so I know that I am losing.
Going to the pool today and taking a long walk.

sliding day

2009-01-13T14:39:00.005-04:00

I took a one hour long walk this morning and then we were off to slide and skate.

Turned out that after sliding we didn't have any more energy to skate. The park that I had chosen didn't have nicely cleaned trails to get to the sliding part. So we had to walk a good 5 minutes in knee deep ( for me so hip deep for the pookie) snow.
But it was very nice. And as always we got nice red cheeks. And a snow angel.

C25K W2D1

2009-01-12T14:25:00.003-04:00

It felt really good. The sun was shining and the streets are not too icy. So it was day 1 of week 2. Harder but doable. I am proud I did it. I am getting use to the techno strangely enough. Never tough I did.
Then we went to the pool. I did 24 laps and 500 frog jumps with 50 abs things.
Lunch has never been so good.

day 7

2009-01-11T19:19:00.002-04:00

I took a long walk with my lovey and then in the afternoon, my mom, the gagoo and I went to the pool. There was a lot of people so I could only do laps at the end of the session. So only 10. But I did 500 frogs jumps, 50 abs things and 10 minutes of water jogging. For a total of 35 minutes in the pool and 1 hour of walking.
Tomorrow, pool again. I really like this routine.
I have to find a way to nourrish my skin tough because it is dryer then sand and very itchy.

Holy crap it is cold

2009-01-10T19:44:00.003-04:00

It was -29 C today. Too cold to be outside. So I decided that today would be the rest day of my exercises. Except I started to be very hungry and had the munchies so I did 40 minutes of Wii fit.
We had a relaxing day where each of us played our favorite game. My lovey played Madden 09 on the PS3, the gagoo played Disney network on the Mac and I played Dr Mario on the Wii. Hurray for technology!!!!
Tomorrow, we go back to the pool. I am sore all over. It must be working.

day 5

2009-01-09T14:52:00.004-04:00

I went for a one hour walk. I love living in Buckingham, I can walk to the pharmacy and the bank. It doesn't seem so much like exercice when you have a purpose.

Then we went to the pool and I did 20 laps, 500 frog jumps, 50 abs things for a total of 40 minutes intense exercise. Who knows, maybe I will get confortable enough in the water to finally enter a triathlon. I saw last summer, when I went to see my friend Veronique to the Lac Leamy triathlon, that some people where swimming in breast stroke. That is what I can do the best. I never had swimming lesson and just learn on my own. Maybe later on, when I am really, really confortable, I will take proper form swimming lessons.

I didn't plan my food intake properly and I was completely weak when we got out of the pool. I need to take a snack before going to the pool.

My lovey is all happy because I bought him the roof "shovel". He was very worried with the amount of snow on the roof of our house and we didn't want to climb on it to shovel.

So I bought the roof thingie. He did 20 minutes last night and there is still a ton of snow.

swimming in the snowstorm

2009-01-08T09:36:00.003-04:00

We had a huge snowstorm once again, 25 cm. But yesterday before it started we went swimming. The local indoor pool has a huge window looking out on the forest. So that when you are swimming in 82 F water you can see the snow outside. Very cool. I always forget to bring my camera but I will try and bring it tomorrow.

I was with my mom and the gagoo so I was able to do 10 laps before the gagoo needed attention. I sat her on a pool noodle, strap a noodle under my arms and did horsey for about 10 horizontal laps. Then I was able to go aquajogging in the deep end. There is not alot of people in the pool during the week. So I was able to do a total of 40 minutes of all kind of mixed exercise. Oh yeah, I also did a set of 20 of those abs things we learned to do in our aquaclass. Ouch this morning.

I realized why my lowerback is hurting so much when I get up in the morning. I was wearing my boots to take my walk. I am sure that is the cause of my backache.
I have registered for a class of baladi on monday night along with our aquaclass on tuesday and thursday night. I am nervous about the baladi but it is suppose to be excellent for flexibility and lower back. Can't wait to start, it is in 2 weeks that all activities start.

He came back

2009-01-04T08:54:00.004-04:00

After 8 days, he showed up last night. After my lovey had put some food on the balcony. My lovey woke me up as it was midnight and he tought I would be happy to see him. He was right. I was so thankful. He let me pet him again.
He came in the house and drank for about 15 minutes straight. That is proof to me that he was out the whole time. He doesn't go to anybody else's house.
He slept the whole night on our bed, on my lovey's side, at his feet.
I have Misty on the other side, at my head.
But this morning, around 7h30, he started to ask for the door. He went to the front door
and when I didn't open it, he went to the back door.

He did that for about half an hour. Woke up my lovey. We decided to let him out again.
I pray he comes back again. And one day, maybe he decide to stay in.

I went for a nice walk yesterday and I will go for one today as well. We are getting back on track. The holidays are over. :)

detachment

2008-12-30T14:20:00.002-04:00

One of the most important goal in Buddhism is detachment.
Lots of people have difficulties understanding this because they mix up detachment and non compassion. It would be too long to explain the real meaning of detachment in Buddhism. I am not even sure that I really get it enough to explain it properly. It is a work in progress.

All this to say that I am given lots of reason to practice detachment right now.
And boy it is really hard. My moral is very low and I am working on that as well.

First and foremost, I had to detach/say goodbye to my menstruations. That is to say goodbye to my capacity of making babies. Saying goodbye to a very large part of my life and one that I have very much identify myself with. I am first and foremost a mother. I will always be.

Second, Christmas has made me realize to that my 4 oldest daughters are women now. Real women, full grown woman. They don't need me to fonction in the world anymore. That made me see that time passes so fast. Where did it go. If one thing, it make me appreciate Isabella even more. I want to take full advantage of her. I am sure I did with the other four. But it seems so far away. I made progess there tough because before I would have questionned myself regarding the way that I raised them. Now I know that I did my best with the tools I had at that time. I am proud of what I accomplished. They are beautiful and I love them.

Third, we decided to bring our little homeless cat to the vet and have him castrated, vaccinated and test to see how healthy he was. All went well and for a few nights, he even slept in our house and let us pet him and caress him. He is such a beautiful cat. But for the last 2 nights, he didn't show up. That makes me soooo sad. It is like he represent all that is lost in my life. I pray that he comes back. I miss him.

Four, I have gained back 30 pounds. This year has been an emotional rollercoaster.
I have still not succeed in dealing with emotion in other ways then eating.
I am really wondering what all of this mean. Everytime I succeed in losing a substantial amount of weight, something happens that makes me gain it all back.
Always an injury. In 1998, I tore my ankle ligament and was off jogging for 4 months. In 2000, I broke my toe and didn't do any activities during 3 months. Gained back all the weight. In 2002, I was pregnant and actually lost 15 pounds. I gained it all back when I went back to work, felt too guilty working and not being at home with my baby. Lots of frustration from seing someone else raising my daughter. And finally losing my job. Now, I succeed once again, and I hurt my knee, then my blood pressure is too high, then I hurt my knee again. Then I start the estrogen/progesterone. All my weight is in my tummy.
I cannot accept that my karma is to be an obese woman in this live.
I came to an awekening last week, I always tought I was obese all of my life. But looking back, I realize that I have never been obese until I was 29 and very unhappy in my marriage, after my fourth daughter. Because before that I was actually very heatlhy. All my teenage years, I was at 140 pounds. No fat there. Until I was 29 years old, I weight 165. Not obese there. Actually the upper number of a healthy BMI.
I need to accept myself as I am. I need to love myself as I am.
Once again, I am starting the year with the resolution of going back to be healthy.
I want to get off those f$%^&ng meds.

Happy new year people.
All the best to all of you.

2 dodos till Christmas

2008-12-23T16:18:00.003-04:00

And I am ready. I cooked all the gingerbread houses for the party at Nanne. Bella and I made the cookies and the cupcakes for her little party at Vince's work tomorrow.
All in all, very good.

So in case I don't log back on before Christmas:

and of course:

coodies

2008-12-17T08:26:00.004-04:00

Well, we had a party on saturday with the people that my lovey works with. Kids were included. And guess what? I am sick!!!! The Gagoo too. Must be because I am at home now and I don't come in contact with a lot of people. Took a long walk yesterday because, yes I have a fever again. I will start the C25K over again as soon as I am better.
Going to the pharmacy today to get some gold, copper, silver. According to homeopath the minerals actually disolve the virus.

In other news, on the home front, I registered the pookie for pre-kindergarten, 2 times a week, starting in march 2009. As I came out of the school, walking on the sidewalk, I got chocked up thinking of what I just did and started to cry. I wasn't expecting this. I have put 4 daughters trough school and I have cried for every one of them, cried at the registration, then cried on the actual first day of school. You would think I would get use to it. But heck no, I cry when they start kindergarten, I cry when they start high school, I cry when they start university.

In other news, internal stuff: The bio-identical hormone therapy is working great. No more palpitation, no more hot flash, NO MORE INSOMNIA, no more night sweat, no more pain in my left shoulder, no more anxiety( that was a biggy), no more depression, no more lack of libido( that was a monster, if you know me), my memory seems to be getting back a bit and there is no more confusion. Only thing is that I have been on it for now a month and normally my period should have come back. They didn't. I called the doctor yesterday and she confirmed that they don't have to come back. That is a big, big, big shock to me. I wouldn't want a kid at 47 but knowing that I can't anymore, that I will never again feel life in me, never again breastfeed...I wasn't ready yet. I don't want to know that my body is that old. That, that part of my life is forever ended. Hard, very, very hard.

Couch to 5 K

2008-12-08T15:03:00.002-04:00

I started this afternoon. Just went for the first day of the C25K program. I am beginning all over. And I am going to take my time. Boy it feels good to run. After fumbling with my Garmin, I finally found the way to set it for intervals with a bell that rings at 2 minutes and 1 minute. Problem is with the Ipod, I can't hear the alarm. I am not listening it too loud either. So when I came home I found this:
Podrunner interval I will be using it on wednesday.
We will see. I don't know if I can listen to techno for so long without ripping the Ipod from my arm. But I am willing to give it a try.
The aquaclass are over for the holiday period. That is a shame. I can't wait to start over again. It takes away so many booboos. I have to incorporate it in my schedule all the time.

On other fronts, we finished all the Christmas shopping on saturday. And my lovey, who is an agorophob did very good. Happy about that.
Bring on the Christmas parties. We are ready. :)

Sick

2008-12-04T09:45:00.003-04:00

I am stilllll sick. I cannot believe this. At least now I don't cough anymore. I coughed so much that my ribs were sore. But now the fever is gone, the headaches are gone, the pain in the bones is gone. And no more cough that would wake me up in the night, cough that would tickle my throat and force me to cough again and again, waking up everybody in the house. All that is left is a stuffed nose and a bit of soreness around my ears. So hopefully, 3 or 4 days more and I will be done!!!

I am off to look for a Christmas tree that comes in a pot so that you can replant it next spring.

Copenhagen

2008-11-27T18:50:00.004-04:00

Well it is becoming more and more certain that we are going to Copenhagen end of May 2009. So look what I found : Jogging tours. How cool is that?
This is so much of a motivator for me to start running again.
Right now, I am walking and I can't start anything yet. As I start a coughing fit anytime I make an effort. But this %$^&* cold will eventually be finished. And then I have some serious goal.

first virus of the winter

2008-11-24T00:58:00.003-04:00

Everybody is sick in the house. Ranging from fever to just runny nose. Can't wait for it to be over. I am disinfecting the door handles, the light switch, the tap. Everything possible.
The Gagoo was doing better and then tonight, very high fever again. Don't know what the heck that is.

Her birthday went well. She had fun and that is all that matters. The trip to Montreal and back was very tirying as always. I feel like we have to go there to make everybody's life easier. Since we are the one who moved far away, we should be the one who drive. But it is very exhausting. I got to see most of my daughters. Marie-Pier was working so she couldn't come. Then she got upset because we wouldn't go see her in her appartment. But she lives on Papineau street, 30 minutes away from my in-laws. That would have been another 1 hour and a half at least.

My father in law was drunk of course. Can't handle the "stress" of too many people in his house. When he gets to that stage he starts to make joke that are bordering passive aggressive. And of course, I am the butt of the joke. I know it is the alcohol talking but I hate it with a passion. The man is obviously a very weak man. There is so much that I could say but it wouldn't change a thing. Nobody confronts him about his alcoholism. It is a big secret. Nobody is suppose to know. Let see, he disapear from the party for 20 to 30 minutes at a time. Of course it is because he smokes...Yet every time he comes back to the room, he becomes more talkative and he has trouble standing straight.

My lovey turns into the weird man every time we go over. He is frustrated and becomes cynical, mostly with me because I won't start a fight with him since I love him so much. He is aware of this. He always ends up apologizing in the car when we come back. His father infuriates him. And he doesn't like the atmosphere in his parent's house. How could he with an alcoholic father?
Family, sometimes, it is just too much bother.
Good thing, Andree-Anne and Elisabeth were there and they were happy to see us.
Stephanie was in a good mood to. But she always has a bug up her bonnet as they say about Isabella and the way that we raise her. Wich is exactly the way that I raised her. Whatever.

We also brought Rufus to Andree-Anne. She wanted him as he is her cat. And Misty was always bullying him causing us to wake up in the night as she would run after him and hiss and spit around 3h00 am. But now Bob is depress. It is a very sad thing to see.
He is just sleeping and not going outside. Bob and Rufus use to sleep together. Licking each other's forehead. I hope he gets better soon.

Here is the cake I made for Bella. Came out very good looking. Of course, that is what my father-in-law use to tease/attack me. He started saying that he could see that the cake was hard as brick because Bella couldn't cut it. So he stated asking people if they needed a chainsaw to cut it up. It is stupid really but it really upset me. I stayed polite and didn't say a f$^&%ng word. Maybe my estrogen patch is too strong for me. I am really emotional. I am waiting for the progesterone to kick in.

All in all, very frustrating. God I love my home.
Well next one is Christmas. Then we will be done for a while.

vacation is over

2008-11-12T15:42:00.004-04:00

Well my lovey is back to work. That was a very fast 10 days. We worked alot in the basement, my mom's place. So that is very good.
I gained 10 pounds, that is not soo good. We ate out, we ate in. Finished the Halloween candy. Movie popcorn, wine ,rhum and coke, cheesecake. I only went to my aquaclass last night. No walk, no bike, now Wii fit.
Today is the rebeginning.
It looks like we are going to Copenhagen in june. A business trip for my lovey but we would extend it a few days to visit so I would go with him.
That is my goal. 180 days to go ( no definite date yet but I am making it June 1st).
I have discovered that my blood pressure medication could be the cause of my recent weight gain ( not this week obviously but the 10 pounds before that. )
I have to talk to a doctor when I see one.
Because try as I may, I do not lose weight on 1800 calories a day and 1 hour and a half of exercise.
But I am trying again today.
My BP is good so I guess that is all that counts.
And my lovey of course loves my curves so the motivation has to come from me and me only.
This trip will be my motivation. I want to be very confortable in the plane( 12 hours) and I want to walk all over the place while my lovey works during the day.
My mom is coming back on saturday so I will be able to start the daily walk as well. And of course the running.

just because

2008-10-31T12:58:00.002-04:00

Because every body that knows me know that I love cows;
Because I love Nanne and this is a wink to her;
Because I love Austin Power;
Because I love lol catz even though this is about cows...

The first snow

2008-10-30T06:31:00.006-04:00

We had about 15cm of snow yesterday. It was very nice and the gagoo made her first snowman and her first snow angel.

Since the car doesn't have winter tires yet, I had to go to the hair dresser by walk. It was soo nice. I love walking in the snow. Very refreshing.
I am sore because of Wii fit boxing. Holy Crap. It is soo fun and very challenging.
I have never been strong with my arms, you would guess that by holding that many kids in my arms it would act like weight lifting.
Anyway, I plan to do it again today.

winterlude triathlon?

2008-10-27T14:53:00.002-04:00

I have been skating for 2 weeks now and I really like it. I always did, it is just that I am not that good at it. I can't brake, I can't skate backward and I am just now managing turning as I am skating.
All that said, I am really in the mood to try and do the Winterlude triathlon
It is 8 km skating, 5 km skiing, 5 km race. I know I can do the 5 k, I am pretty sure I can do the 8k skating ( I have gone skating on Rideau Canal many times in the past and we always skated 4 or 5 km with the kids.). I have no idea about the cross-country skiing. I am not sure yet if I could find places to go ski. Maybe the Gatineau park. I would of course have to buy some skies...
So far, the knee has been doing great. And training for a 5 k is not too hard on the articulations. Skating is going well, I skate for 30 minutes each time so far and all is well, except for the shin but that is to be expected. So, my only obstacle so far is the cross-country skiing. I did some when I was younger.
Anyway, something to look forward to.
This morning, back to calorie counting and taking care of my body. Time to lose this weight, again...

birds from Alfred Hitchcock

2008-10-23T15:05:00.005-04:00

This morning, on my walk, there was a pigeon that kept following me. I mean really follow me. In the beginning, I found it cute. But the more I walked the more he would get closer to me. Diving near my head, landing on the ground just before my feet. Walking alongside me.
So, as usual, I started to try and think why this pigeon was following me. I always begin with irrational thoughts. Was I doomed, was this pigeon able to feel an attack on me( like those dogs that can sense an epilepsy episode on certain people, or the one that can detect a low sugar in diabetic people.) What was I emitting that would attract a pigeon?
I tried to close my Ipod, I thought maybe it could hear the music and it was attracted to it. Then I remembered that they don't hear, they feel vibration.
Then I imagined, I had somehow walked in its nest or something, but we are in the fall, would be bizarro if there were babies in the nest.
I was really freaked out.
I continue on the bridge and then he left me alone. So I finally felt free. But when I came back on the other bridge, he was waiting for me. WTF?
So, I change my road coming back and he stopped.
That was really, really freaky.
Nice hour walk anyway, just Hallowish.

impatient customer

2008-10-16T07:31:00.007-04:00

Every morning, when I get up, be it at 6h00, 6h30 or 7h00, this is what awaits me in the patio door.
We named him Pirate because one of his eye is smaller then the other one.
Now the reason he waits like that is because we started to feed him canned food. And even tough we always put dry food in the plate outside, he waits until we give him a can. He has become a picky customer.
The pookey is very worried about what is going to happen to him this winter. So we started to invite him in the house. But he is a very scared cat and he has just now started to let us pet him. ( He is whoring himself for the can, obviously...).

We got him in the house but once I closed the door, he got very nervous and unhappy, so I let him out. Maybe in a few months, when it is very cold.

The cat in the door in that picture is Bob, we let him out because he will eat all of Pirate's can otherwise. And since he is our cat, we know that he is very well fed.

Social commentary

2008-10-10T09:30:00.002-04:00

During my aquaclass last night I notice something. Just as there is a joke on the web about people in the office falling into many categories that end up being always the same, I saw the same thing in my class last night.
There is a person that is always trying to get the teacher's attention. Be it by asking question, making jokes with them or just showing off when they do the exercise, going to get the teacher's mat or ball or weight.
There is a couple of person that are there to talk. They pretend that they are listening to the instructions and they do move a bit around but all they do is talk. So they will step on your feet, kick you in the ribs or bump into you because they are too engross in their conversation, usually gossiping, to take notice of other people around them.
There is the one that is in the back and does all the exercises but does not communicate with others. She is there to work.
There is the one that looks to other to do the exercise instead of looking at the teacher the first time ( maybe they don't have their glasses, or maybe they just need to see it done by a different person).
There is the one that will giggle the whole time.
There is the one that complains that it is too hard.
There is the one that talks about the french fries that she will buy after the class.
There is the one that is always looking for reassurance.
There is the one that will always help others by giving her own view of the exercise.
I saw them in step class, I saw them in aerobic class, I saw them last night in the water.

In case you are wondering, I am the anti-social one. I will do all the exercise at maximum for me. I will say hi and smile, but will not engage in conversation. I am in the back or the front depending on where there is less people.

The world is a funny place, as much as you try to be different, there is always the same pattern of people in every situation.

apple picking

2008-10-05T09:51:00.004-04:00

It was a wonderful day. We had the sun only a few minutes but it was cool and perfect.
A long trip to go and back but it was worth it.

auto hypnosis

2008-10-02T11:18:00.006-04:00

I have been listening to the full program of Donate your weight and that includes auto hypnosis before sleep and positive affirmation during the day. I have notice this morning that I was chewing my food much, much slower then usual. I didn't scarf down my toasts. Also, this is day 4 and I am not hungry.
I am walking 50 minutes a day 6 times a week, taking 2 aquaexercise class a week and playing on the Wii fit 30 minutes 5 times a week. I am sore all over.
It smells so good outside, plenty of leaves on the ground. And it is chilly. I love walking in those conditions.

Skating lessons

2008-09-27T14:36:00.004-04:00

new customer at De Angellis Bed and Breakfast

2008-09-26T08:12:00.005-04:00

He is not even one year old. And he lets us pet him. He even followed me in the house when I went to get some food. We called him Gnocchi because the pookie gave him pasta and he ate it.

In other news, the pookie is finished with the dentist. They did the last 5 cavities yesterday and she took it all without fussing. I am so proud of her. The dentist told me that she shouldn't eat banana every day. Because banana are worst then candy when it comes to cavities. And the pookie eats 2 bananas a day. She is devastated.

I went for a bike ride on wednesday full of hope. My father who is 72 year old, bikes every day and goes on outing of 80 km 3 times a week. He suffers from carpal tunnel just like I do. He suggested putting those rubber thing that are use to insulate hot water pipes on my handle. I tried them and for the first 10 minutes it was better. But then it got worst. I remember that when I was pregnant, the doctor had told me that the change of hormones in your body does influence the inflammation of the nerves. And since I am going trough an unbelievable pre menopause, it could be that.

Yesterday's aquaclass involved running in the pool in different direction. It was hard to fight the current that 20 people create when they run in the same direction and then change. But it was fun.

I am off to find those thingies you put on the blade of the skate so that you can walk on regular cement floor. Didn't find them at Canadian tire or Zellers. I think I have to go to a sport store or something. The pookie's skating class is tonight.

aquaclass with my mommy

2008-09-24T07:33:00.003-04:00

My mom came to the aquaclass last night. She worked hard but she did it all. It was fun to be there with her. She is a woman that can't go on activities on her own. But once she is there, she enjoys them. She is not a self confident woman. So she won't initiate. But once she has done something once then she can redo it without any problem.
I am happy that she came and she now likes it. Hopefully, it will help her get back in shape.
The instructor didn't make us do any abs work last night. That is a shame because the two previous class, we had a nice serie to do. It is so much easier to do abs when your whole body is supported by water.

I finish staining the new table. That way it may live a bit longer. The varnish, I hope will resist the painting session of the pookie.

week end over too soon

2008-09-21T17:23:00.002-04:00

I went to get my lovey at the airport on Friday night. It was late but it was so good to see him. On Saturday, my in-laws came for the afternoon. In the morning we had to go to the store to buy the pookie her new skates. She grew a full 2 size bigger since March of this year. Unbelievable. The in-laws stayed until 4pm so the day was pretty much over when they left.
This morning, we went for the skating lesson. She loved it. Brought back so many memories for me. I remember, not too long ago, going to the arena for my daughters to bring them to figure skating. Wow, time just flies by.
And this afternoon, we went to Ikea to get our kitchen table. My lovey gave up one of his football game for me.
Now, the week-end is over. And my lovey is going back to work. Even tough he was at work the last two weeks, he was not in his office so it is not the same.
Tomorrow morning, off to Montreal to go for the pookie's pediatrician appointment. After 3 years, we found one. Well not really, my cousin is a pediatrician and she just moved back to Brossard after a nasty divorce in New Brunswick.

Igor

2008-09-19T18:08:00.004-04:00

We went to see Igor. Not a great film but amusing. There is a song in the Soundtrack that I can't wait to get because it describes exactly the way that my lovey loves me.
It goes a bit like this: the bigger her fingers, the more I love her, the more I love her the more I feed her, the more I feed her, the bigger her fingers...

Other then that, my calves are very soar. But my knee is great. I wonder if one of the muscle that I am working so hard in my aqua class is actually helping my knee. And that would be a muscle that doesn't work when I walk, run or cycle. Weird, but it would make sense.

I am off to go get my lovey at the airport. Finally, it has been such a long week without him.

Have a great week-end, I know I will.

aqua energy class

2008-09-16T20:25:00.003-04:00

Went to my first aqua energy class. What a workout. My tights are killing me. And my knee is not hurting at all. Not at all.
We signed up for twice a week. My mom couldn't come this week because my lovey is in Newfoundland. She wouldn't go alone so I am going. I love it.
There is a lot of chlorine in the water. Other then that all is great.

On other news, wish me luck, the pookie is having her first dental work done tomorrow. She has exactly the same cavities as I had and all the girls had. Why is it that cavities are not a recessive gene? Isn't it suppose to be only strong attributes that survive to elevate the race? Anyway, I need lots of positive energy. She is so small. I want it to go extremely well. I am having two teeth redone but all my thoughts are on the pookie.

Good night. I am swamped.

exercise in stupidity

2008-09-14T07:06:00.005-04:00

Ottawa Ikea store on Saturday morning:
My lovey presents his unsign Mastercard .
-Your credit card is not signed.
-Yes, here is my id.
-But your card is not signed.
-Yes, that is why I am showing you my ids.
-You have to sign your card.
-Why?
-Because, it has to be signed for security reason.
-Well, I don't want to sign it, for security reason,that way you ask for my id
and the card is validated.
-I can't accept it.
-So, if I go in the back there, sign my card, come back and show it to you,you
will take it?
-yes.
-Will you ask for my id?
-no, the card will be signed.
-But I want you to ask for my id.
-Then you can write, beside your signature: please ask for id.
-Will you take the time to read that?
-Yes.
-I don't want to sign it, I want to be sure you ask for my ids.
-Then I can't accept your card. You know, if somebody finds your card and sign it, then anybody can sign it.
-If the card is signed, will you ask for id?
-No.
-.....
We didn't buy the tables.

Last day of summer....

2008-09-07T20:11:00.005-04:00

That is what we heard at the park. I love that sound. As much as I love when they arrive, I love when they leave. It is always a sign that summer is officially over and winter is coming soon. What can I tell you, I am a winter girl, I will always be. I never complain about the cold, the snow and the wind. I just love it. It is the only time when I am not too warm. It has always been like that. Not a menopause thing.

We went to the duck race today. It was nice. Very different then the one that I had attended in Montreal's old port. Considering that we are maybe 1% of the population of the island, that is quite normal. :)
3 000 ducks were sold.
And about 250 people showed up to watch the race.

There was a parade with old cars closing the march. I didn't take the picture very well but here is my favorite. An old Mercedes. Beautiful.

right turn but wrong route still....

2008-09-04T13:44:00.006-04:00

Map

Elevation (ft)

Speed (mph)

Heart Rate (bpm)

Heart Rate Zones

Zone	Range (bpm)	Time In Zone		Distance In Zone
Zone 5	157 - 174	0h 14m	25%	1.59 mi
Zone 4	139 - 157	0h 36m	64%	5.88 mi
Zone 3	122 - 139	0h 08m	14%	1.36 mi
Zone 2	104 - 122	0h 01m	2%	0.21 mi
Zone 1	87 - 104	0h 00m	0%	0.00 mi
(none)	out of range	0h 00m	0%	0.00 mi

Posted from bimlog.com

Went for my bike ride this morning. I did turn on the right street but then I encountered the hills from hell. Definetely not a flat course. It is okay, I am not ashamed to say that I was beat by the hills. I tried on the first 2 to just cycle, even if it meant going up at an astonishing speed of 8kmh. But the third one, I just got off my bike and walked it. It was very nice tough. I did 13.60 km in 56 minutes and 21 seconds. And my Garmin training center says that somehow I was at a maximum speed of 146kmh...Don't know what the heck that is all about.

Already 3 minutes off....

2008-09-03T14:15:00.002-04:00

Well, it is only day 3 of my program and I already shaved 3 minutes off my total time. I am very happy. So today was 4.59 km in 41 minutes 14 seconds compared to 4.59km in 44 minutes 14 seconds on Monday. This week is 9 minutes walk 1 minute jog. I know it is still a far cry from my top shape but I will get there. I once ran an 5 k in 27 minutes and I want to go back to that. Not the fastest in the world but fast enough for me.
Fit by fifty as some people say on those boards.

We went to Costco today and I bought an external hard drive : 1 TB for 219$. Isn't that completely insane!!! Unbelievable how fast the size are growing and how cheap they are.
The PC is so fragile that we have no choice but to keep the photos and files we have, on top of the large collection of porn :) Plus the gagoo is getting older so I think it is a very good idea to have all the "filth" on another medium.
And we are going to be able to keep all the shows that we are recording on the illico. I love technology!!!

bike ride

2008-09-02T14:57:00.003-04:00

My lovey fixed my bike's brakes yesterday, so today, I mapped out a course to try and avoid hills( because my whole area is composed of hills). It was a new area so I had to remember 4 new street names. Well, guess what? I forgot the first one, or rather, I inverted it with another one. When it was time to turn left, I didn't, I continued and then realized that I was on a wrong course. Except that there was 2 hills, 2 giant hills (for a beginner like me anyway) so instead of turning back and confronting those hills, I decided to continue as I figured I would catch up with the right street eventually.....
Wrong!!!! I ended up doing a major detour and did 23 km instead of the 12 I had planned. And I had to go down a hill that brought me to 48.5kmh. Now that is scary, very, very scary. I never felt so out of control. Let me tell you, I prayed the whole way down and I thank God when I got at the bottom of it. I don't have enough experience to know if there is a way to control the speed( other then getting off the bike and walking). I did the first 18 km in 1 hour ( but there was 3 downward hill that brought my speed to 35kmh, 30 kmh and the monster of 48.5 kmh). I never want to go there again. I was really badly prepared and I had no water. Now with a 39 humidex that was rough. So the last 5 km, I walked. I just didn't have the energy to go on my bike, plus it was all uphill. All in all, it took me 2 hours. I love biking but not at that speed. Maybe next year I will be better.

garden bounty

2008-09-01T15:10:00.002-04:00

Here are the beautiful tomatoes and peppers from our garden.

And here is a small view of the new deck. We still have to decide what we want as railings.

2008-09-01T12:17:00.001-04:00

September 1st already

2008-09-01T11:01:00.005-04:00

I went for a run today. I am trying to begin a run program. Yes I know, I said I would wait until I was under 200. But so far, my knee has been cooperating. After last week's jogging escape, there was no residual the next days. So, this morning, I tried again. Slowly, very slowly I will start my program right from the start. So this week: 3 days of 9 minutes of walking and 1 minute of jogging. Positive, positive this will work.

I really spoiled myself this week-end and I watch 5 movies. We went for Traitor. It was a good action movie as I said before.

Then I watch : Juno. Yes it is a chick's flick and yes I cried. I loved the music. Very refreshing.

I saw : L'age des Tenebres. Very good Arcand. Always makes you think about life. Very good brain exercise.

Then I watch: Continental, un film sans fusil. That one, I am still thinking about. I am not sure if I understood.

And I saw : Bluff. A silly movie about different people living at different time in the same appartment. I liked it alot but I was biaise because I love all the actors in that movie. :)

Now I am watching Caramel.

Tired

2008-08-29T20:39:00.002-04:00

Well we are back. It was a long drive and it was an emotional voyage to say the least. I saw a lot of my cousins and the first thing that comes to mind is : holy shit he is old!!! then pause....What age is he? pause again...Oh yeah!!! same as me!!! Shit!!!Do I look like that? Shit!!!

We then went to my in-laws and it was of course very warm in their house. But we manage to sleep in the basement. My mother-in-law didn't want anything to do with it. But we went anyway. And for the first time, we slept decently.
We left this morning at 7h30 to go get my mom at my aunt in l'Acadie and then we left for a nice 3 hours ride. I had my appointment at 2pm so as soon as we got home, I took my shower and we left again. Then we went for lunch and for a movie. We saw Traitor. Very good. It makes you think a lot. I love that. And it is the guy from Memento. He is a decent actor in that one. Not bad like the Monte Cristo disaster. I was scared at first but he is much better.

Now I finished reading my email and it is time for dodo. My lovey is playing PS3-Madden 09 and relaxing. Tomorrow, my mother-in-law is suppose to stay until Sunday evening. We will see how that goes.

walk/run

2008-08-26T10:21:00.003-04:00

Well I cheated this morning. It is cool and windy and so I went on my walk and I ran. Not much, just 1 minute every 10 minutes. But it felt so good. I love running in cold weather. Anyway, 43 minutes, 4.5 km.
I am signing up my mom and me to an aquaform course, 2 times a week. I am doing it for her but I will take advantage of it to.

Thank you for your sympathies. My uncle's funeral is Thursday and it is all the way in St-Jean-sur-le-Richelieu. At 2pm. We will be coming home late that day. But then my mom can move on. It will finally give her closure. She is very hit hard on that one.

new deck and new border

2008-08-24T14:49:00.015-04:00

While my lovey is working hard on building the new deck,

I was working hard to remove grass to plant the new border. I am trying to define a border all along our fence.

I realize that I won't be able to fill it all this year. But slowly we will get there.

And here is a picture of the giant pile of old wood that we are trying to get rid of. We called Gotjunk and they are charging us 700$ so we said no.

I went to get a cage to trap a poor homeless minou that comes to our house. He seems to have a broken leg and we want to bring him to the vet to have him healed. Last night, we came home late and we arrive just in time to close the cage, otherwise, it was a skunk that was going in. aaarrrggggg.

And on other fronts : My dear uncle Jean-Charles died yesterday morning at 7h15. I cannot believe he is gone. We are now waiting to go to his funeral. Another very sad moment to pass. Cancer is really the silent killer. We have lots of it in our family. More reason to take care of my health.

1940-2008

go Brigitte go.

2008-08-22T19:11:00.003-04:00

This morning, when I took my walk, I was on a street where they left one of those radar board to make drivers aware of their speed. I was walking between 8 and 10kmh. It was funny. I tried to walk as fast as I could. Very stimulating.

We went to the plant store to buy some shrubs as they are all on sale. My mom needed to think of something else for a while.
I work all afternoon planting and digging. It is coming along slowly. Lots of work and it was extremely warm today, 28 celsius.

We are waiting for the phone call to let us know that my uncle died. Horrible waiting time. He is on morphine and it won't be long. Apparently, he is suffering extremely. That is not fair.

another sad moment

2008-08-21T17:27:00.003-04:00

well, that is it, my uncle just got admitted to palliative care today. He was diagnose with colon and liver cancer and was operated monday because of an obstruction. He is 65 year old. That is not old. He is the younger brother of my mom. She is taking it very hard, specially since she lost her other younger brother to cancer last year. It seems that all my foundation is disappearing. All that was my youth is slowly going away.
We were extremely poor and my uncle was always the savior. It was because of him that we had furniture, clothes and I suspect food most of the time. We use to go spend some time at his gorgeous house for the summer vacation. He was one of the engineer of LG2 and he made his fortune there and also because he bought gold before it became outrageously expensive. He owned a plane and use to take us to fligh around the lake in Val D'Or. I hope that he doesn't suffer too much.
Getting old is the shits.....